Is active listening actually showing sincere interest?
Post by Tina Gorenc
Who is a good listener?
Is a good salesperson the one that asks the right questions and identifies all the pain points of the customer? Is that enough?
Do we all feel when someone is genuinely interested in us and is trying to help or solve our issues?
Many techniques can make us competent communicators and better listeners. Let's be honest. All these come in very handy since it is difficult to be sincerely interested all the time in everybody you encounter. This is especially true if you don't like the person on the other side due to the negative first impression (and your subconscious defies reason). Yet it is beneficial for us and our business to overcome spontaneous emotional impulses and act professionally. We just need to be aware that if we follow all the steps and pose all the questions on our lists, we can be perceived as too technical and even artificial.
So, let's ASK QUESTIONS. Open and closed. And WAIT for the ANSWERS.
"I keep six honest serving men. They taught me all I knew. Their names are What and Why and When and How and Where and Who."
When you listen to your child, and you try to find out how his or her day was, when you try to see what is happening in their little world, it's so easy!
You simply WANT to know more.
Why did they react that way? What did they want to achieve? How did they do it?
And you can ask them "Why" to eternity. They never tell you enough. If you have a son like mine, it's a particular challenge: It's always just "Fine." And "Ok".
When I meet an interesting person, for whatever reason, it seems normal to ask as many questions as possible and to get to know as much as possible about them.
And who doesn't want to be the object of interest? It's a recipe for a good relationship!
What do we usually do with the ones that (for whatever reason) do not generate sincere curiosity in us? We ASSUME. And assumptions lead us to what? Painting our own reality based on the information we have.
Let's strive for conscious curiosity. Our perceptions and reactions will be much more SINCERE and REAL. :)
Updated from an article that first appeared on LinkedIn 23/06/15
Written by Tina Gorenc
I have spent 16 years in the corporate environment, where lessons are learnt in a heartbeat: How marketing and sales don’t appreciate each other, how small teams become big teams and the challenges that come with it, struggles in managing people on-site and remotely, and witnessed how strategies can make you succeed - or fail big time. My key takeaway is: Everything makes sense if you love what you do. Becoming a business trainer and an ice pilot opened a new world – looking from the outside in. And I love every second of it. Every day I meet and learn from people with different experiences and backgrounds and my world is only getting richer.